Mistakes (I've Made a Few)
By the time I get around to posting stuff lately it's already old news, but it's still on my mind so I decided to write about it.
Anyways last week I made a few mistakes. Some more serious than others, but it impressed on me how quickly something can be ruined. The wrong word here, or a moment of hesitation and suddenly everything's changed.
As I begin this list I'm suddenly struck by how much I like to make lists and organize everything by number. Perhaps I have autistic tendencies as my sister has suggested (she works with children who have autism so she know's what she's talking about). I should get to my point before Wapner is on though.
The first mistake was agreeing even if it was only tacitly to continue working for the refractory company for a little while longer after the current project was finished. I could use the money I realize, and I know it's not a permanent position but it feels like my prison term has just been lengthened just when I was about to get paroled. Even now I feel guilty for complaining so much about the job. It's not like I have dozens of career options right now.
The second mistake was hesitating when they asked me at work to head down to Medicine Hat for the weekend to help on a job. It would have been really nice pay with double time and all sorts of expense stuff added. But I hesitated as I really wasn't sure about the condition of my car, and my enthusiasm for the job was at a very low point that morning. So I told my foreman that I would get back to him with an answer, and he said he would need to know by the next day. So I talked to my Dad and he suggested I should go, possibly getting a ride with someone else who was heading down there. The next day I told him I could go, but he had assumed that my hesitation was a negative, and the job was already full besides. It probably would have been really sucky anyways I tell myself.
The third mistake was agreeing to go out the Tuesday before last. I was really tired and quite grumpy that night. My grumpiness has been a constant thing these past few week, but it was especially bad that night. The Thursday before I had headed out to B.P.'s and I felt the same way. I quickly realized it was a mistake as I had no desire to talk with anyone, and I really didn't want anything to eat. Needless to say I wasn't there too long. So on Tuesday I headed out and I started to dwell a little obsessively on some issues. As I was driving I almost turned around and headed home and I probably should have in retrospect.
The last mistake was probably the one that I ended up regretting the most. On that same Tuesday night I received some bad news that I knew was coming. I had an okay time being out because I was distracted. I didn't really know how to deal with some issues that were bothering me, and I began to get really wound up about it on the ride home. Without going into any details I expressed my frustrations in an unhealthy manner, and I hurt someone that I care about greatly. I'm certainly not proud of my petulance now, but I know that we can now move on and discuss our problems like adults.
It's trite but these mistakes really were learning experiences for me. Hopefully though I don't have too many more "learning experiences".
Anyways last week I made a few mistakes. Some more serious than others, but it impressed on me how quickly something can be ruined. The wrong word here, or a moment of hesitation and suddenly everything's changed.
As I begin this list I'm suddenly struck by how much I like to make lists and organize everything by number. Perhaps I have autistic tendencies as my sister has suggested (she works with children who have autism so she know's what she's talking about). I should get to my point before Wapner is on though.
The first mistake was agreeing even if it was only tacitly to continue working for the refractory company for a little while longer after the current project was finished. I could use the money I realize, and I know it's not a permanent position but it feels like my prison term has just been lengthened just when I was about to get paroled. Even now I feel guilty for complaining so much about the job. It's not like I have dozens of career options right now.
The second mistake was hesitating when they asked me at work to head down to Medicine Hat for the weekend to help on a job. It would have been really nice pay with double time and all sorts of expense stuff added. But I hesitated as I really wasn't sure about the condition of my car, and my enthusiasm for the job was at a very low point that morning. So I told my foreman that I would get back to him with an answer, and he said he would need to know by the next day. So I talked to my Dad and he suggested I should go, possibly getting a ride with someone else who was heading down there. The next day I told him I could go, but he had assumed that my hesitation was a negative, and the job was already full besides. It probably would have been really sucky anyways I tell myself.
The third mistake was agreeing to go out the Tuesday before last. I was really tired and quite grumpy that night. My grumpiness has been a constant thing these past few week, but it was especially bad that night. The Thursday before I had headed out to B.P.'s and I felt the same way. I quickly realized it was a mistake as I had no desire to talk with anyone, and I really didn't want anything to eat. Needless to say I wasn't there too long. So on Tuesday I headed out and I started to dwell a little obsessively on some issues. As I was driving I almost turned around and headed home and I probably should have in retrospect.
The last mistake was probably the one that I ended up regretting the most. On that same Tuesday night I received some bad news that I knew was coming. I had an okay time being out because I was distracted. I didn't really know how to deal with some issues that were bothering me, and I began to get really wound up about it on the ride home. Without going into any details I expressed my frustrations in an unhealthy manner, and I hurt someone that I care about greatly. I'm certainly not proud of my petulance now, but I know that we can now move on and discuss our problems like adults.
It's trite but these mistakes really were learning experiences for me. Hopefully though I don't have too many more "learning experiences".
posted by Eman at 3:35 PM
1 Comments:
I warn you. The Fate Faries might be lurking around. A spectral kick in the ass may follow. Time to shake up the life a little?
While not a method I recomend, getting yourself fired does wonders in getting your ass in motion to do all those things you should have done but have been too complasent,(complacent?), to do.
Post a Comment
<< Home